If I wrote Peter's Research Papers...

The other night I went with Peter over to USU's main library to help him find research materials for a paper he has to write. Mostly I think he just wanted me to keep him company. He's been fairly stressed out recently over all the tests, projects, and papers he has due in the next few weeks. So much so that he hasn't even touched a video or computer game in several days, which is quite surprising if you know Peter. It's even more surprising considering that World of Warcraft released their most recent expansion last week. The fact that he hasn't been up all hours of the night checking out the new content only goes to show that he really must have his work cut out for him right now.

So, as we we're sitting there in the library with several tomes about trees stacked around us, he asked me (in obviously a moment of desperation) if I would write his final paper for his dendrology class (dendrology literally means "the study of trees" for all you people who don't speak Latin fluently). He was obviously being facetious, but I enthusiastically (and sarcastically) said, "Okay!" and this is what I came up with:

"I like trees. I think they're neat. They make great homes for cute little critters like squirrels, chipmunks, and little birdies. However, they sometimes can be bad. Like when they have all that sticky sap on their branches that gets all over your hands and in your hair when you try to climb them, or if one of those cute little birdies decides to poop right on your head as you walk underneath. That always sucks. However, trees provide us with oxygen, which is a good thing because I like to breathe.

So, in conclusion, I think trees, as a whole, are good and we should have more of them. The end."

For some reason Peter didn't think the paper I wrote would get him the "A+" he was aiming for. Clearly, he needs to get his priorities straight. I think my paper clearly defines what trees are all about. It's not like this final paper counts as half of his grade for this class or anything...

Oh...wait...it does.

Good thing I'm not writing it then or he'd be screwed.